Swiss Parenting is Clearly Superior

Even after nearly four years of living in Switzerland, it still amazes me how Swiss parents manage to bring their offspring to restaurants without a stash of electronic equipment to keep them under control. Just a crayon, thanks. With my family, a civilized meal cannot occur without the warm glow of a screen on my children’s faces while the food is prepared, and immediately after. Crayons are useful only as projectiles.

In fact, Swiss children under 10 probably watch very little TV, play on the computer or interface with any plugged in device. (NB: I have absolutely no evidence of this, other than their behaviour when children come to my house. Total amazement at what my kids get away with.) You will not find many  IPad savvy three year-olds. Swiss parents simply don’t allow it, and we’re not talking about the pretentious families who force their kids to be culture vultures – or the ones who lie about how much screen time they actually allow. On the whole, bribery doesn’t seem part of the Swiss parental arsenal of behaviour modification.  

And Swiss kids have loads of free time. Until age 9, children often only go to school in the mornings and a couple of afternoons a week. There isn’t the all-consuming hysteria about getting kids involved in as many afterschool activities as possible (I still do this, by the way.) Kids here are expected to play. Outside on their bikes, inside with Lego, Barbies etc. And unless people suddenly clear everything before I arrive, I’ve noticed Swiss houses are not overburdened with lots of toys. Not for them a plethora of plastic, a mountain of Mighty Machines – a cornucopia of crap that I usually see in a household of three children.

My neighbourhood is infested with little boys and girls, scooting and skating around, running to the various playgrounds, mostly unaccompanied by adults, who obviously have better things to do than hover.

But before anyone gets too nostalgic about our good old days and how children in North America and England are mollycoddled and incapable of playing on their own, there is a downside to this Alpine yesteryear. Without supervision, things sometimes get pretty vicious during play time and “might means right,” be imaginative play or football. As I mentioned in earlier posts, kids here are encouraged to work things out for themselves – to be independent and self-sufficient -- and adults generally avoid getting involved in small people disputes. This can often tip over into what Anglos would refer to as bullying, particularly as our foreign status makes the children easy prey for some of the more spirited locals.

But don’t freak out over this. For one thing, take a bunch of 9 year-olds from any country, any culture and they will probably act exactly the same without their parents watching. The same rules apply here because children are encouraged to problem solve. Wretchedness – when it happens, which doesn’t mean always -- is on the whole equally doled out and “foreigners” of all stripes do their fair share. Parents of children in international schools who do not speak Swiss German should not always expect a warm, inclusive welcome. This is part of the problem of sending kids to these institutions, however wonderful and easy the English speaking schools may seem.  

Non-Swiss parents may also find the playground and sport infrastructure quite surprising (as in, “oh my gosh.. is that thing safe?” When I ask Swiss parents how they feel about the incredibly high climbing frame, slides that end at cement staircases and the boulders artfully placed for maximum slippage, they always refer to fact that in nature, things aren’t safe and that children need to learn to cope. Sage words indeed. Do I let my under 10s go to the park alone for very long? Not a chance.

A word of caution on swimming pools: keep an eye on your kids. The lifeguard, as well as keeping a general eye on things, may also be cooking a hot dog, talking on the phone and selling tickets. You will not hear the constant tweeting –so present in North American/UK – despite the sometime exuberant behaviour of young bathers.   

And boy, are kids here tough. While coaching Little League, my husband accidently hit a boy with a baseball bat in the face – imagine a sickening thud. The child whimpered a little while being frantically checked for missing teeth and concussion, but no tears, despite a sizeable lump. After hearing profuse apologies, the mother’s reaction? “Next time maybe he won’t stand so close.”

And finally, do Swiss children throw food? I doubt very much that your average mother here goes out of her way to prepare kiddie-friendly meals and I’m guessing Swiss offspring eat fewer treats and much more fruit and veg than colleagues across the Channel and across the pond. But Swiss cuisine isn’t exactly challenging, palate wise. Sausage, melted cheese and macaroni are common fare.  And if you keep in mind that the average Swiss person consumes more than 12 kilos of chocolate per year – about the size of a two year-old – that’s a lot of Lindt bunnies!

Moving to Switzerland? A little economic primer

Seems a little crazy to start a blog about moving to Switzerland just when dark clouds are finally appearing in the Swiss horizon, but there you go.

Indeed, economic prospects don’t look great from lots of angles, despite the country’s enduring safe haven status. Feel free to tell me how I’m wrong.

To start with, the Swiss banking sector, traditional Alpha dog of whole economy, is on its knees thanks to the triple-punch of weak global economic prospects, increased regulation and loss of bank secrecy – the sector’s unique selling point. Public relations may puff about the country’s fine banking tradition, but the truth is with every passing year the financial sector is shrinking – both in size and importance, and the smaller private banks are continuously shutting shop.  

Lost banking clients from Europe and the US also mean less shopping on the Bahnhoffstrasse and fewer overnight stays in hotels – no need to visit one’s money if it’s no longer there. Highly paid Swiss bankers also support the rest of the service economy: the plumbers who drive Mercedes, the builders who charge 100,000 francs to mend a roof. And let’s not start on the dentists!

Given US and European government success at forcing Switzerland to capitulate on bank secrecy, corporate taxation policy looks a lot like low hanging fruit. Switzerland has worked very hard for the past decade to attract highly mobile multinationals (smaller companies too) through a combinational of low corporate taxes and laissez-faire, business-friendly legislation. As a result, the EU has long complained that cantonal tax deals (in a competitive race to the bottom) amount to state aid.  At some point, it’s possible the EU will do something more than just rattle its sabres. Switzerland has always been good at negotiating, but the threat is always there.

As for the Swiss tradition of ensuring business-friendly and rich people-friendly legislation – this too seems a bit less clear. The banking crisis followed by the global economic meltdown has left a bitter taste, and redistributive justice is on the political agenda, despite the reassurances that Switzerland is always pragmatic in the end. Stiffer inheritance taxes, higher lump sum taxes, “fat cat” salary legislation with real teeth – these are just some of the issues being voted on. Expect the usual hysterical poster campaigns.

There’s already a flow of commodities traders departing from Switzerland and going to Singapore.

But Switzerland is still a lot better off than its neighbours, and this had sent the franc soaring against the euro until the Swiss National Bank put a stop to it a year ago. Even at the 1.20 rate (it got down to near parity before the intervention), the strong franc has hobbled the tourism industry and seriously damaged the very-well regarded Swiss export sector. Companies that earn abroad but whose costs are in francs – not an insignificant number – are particularly vulnerable. “Brand Switzerland” relies on its high-quality image, so cutting costs isn’t a huge possibility.

The SNB didn’t have a lot of choices, and the cap is expected to hold (some companies are so sure they aren’t even hedging.) Even with the intervention, a euro doesn’t buy anywhere near the traditional average of 1.50 francs. And Swiss companies aren’t exactly getting rich off this rate – they’re just pausing to take a breath.

But the perils of dabbling in the dark arts of currency manipulation are serious. Giant exposure to a sinking, possibly disappearing, asset and the possibility of stoking future inflation probably stops central bankers from high-fiving each other in the corridors, even if they did manage to make money on the trades this year. There’s also the whole “beggar thy neighbour” issue. Defending the cap at all costs also means other currencies must go up – not a very popular move.

The star of the Swiss export sector – the watch industry – also looks a lot less shiny. Independent watchmakers reported at the beginning of the year that the market in China (the industry’s bestest client by far) is awash with watches. There was also concern – pre Bo affair – that popular outrage at the spoiled rich would ultimately affect the watch industry. One can only imagine how much worse the image problem is now. Numbers are still holding up but…

Of course, all is not lost. Unemployment is below 3%, compared to 8% in the US and 10% in the EU. And Swiss giants like Nestle are still reporting solid profits.

With weaker prospects perhaps the franc will also lose its sparkle -- and that may help the export sector, which already accounts for about half of Swiss GDP.  The even better news is that Switzerland still tops the innovation indexes. The country is awash with world leaders in high-tech niche products that cannot be easily duplicated. While it’s not exactly a hot bed of grass roots entrepreneurial activity, Switzerland’s universities, labs and other technology centres are not lacking in good ideas.

Lower prices for goods and services? Well, I'll let someone else answer that one.

While Switzerland may experience some serious economic turbulence in the coming years, it might be a really exciting time to live here as the country reshapes socially and educationally to fit in to the new world order. Who knows what this place will look like in 10 years.

Local or International School

If you are relocating to Switzerland with a family, the biggest single decision you will make is whether to put your kids in international/bilingual private school or go local. First things you need to consider:

1.       Length of stay: if you are here fewer than three years, it’s just not worth the hassle and it will take that long to really get settled.

2.       Can you pay for it yourself? Jobs change, bosses change, offers change etc… you need to make sure you can fund the eye-watering international school fees yourself because you don’t want to be in a position where you are compelled to send your (now much older) kids to local schools.

3.       Are you both going to be working full time: It’s not impossible, but Swiss schools sure don’t make it easy for two working parents. In the UK (and US/Canada) I could pretty much count on the kids being at school 9 to 3:30 every day from the age of four. Not so here. Lunch at home, staggered starting time, varied school events, special classes across town etc… mean one parent often needs to be accessible a good part of the time(*more on this later.) I know very few working Swiss mothers and the ones who do have a vast family support network. With three kids, I wouldn’t be able to make it work.

4.       Does your child have learning issues: It doesn’t mean an automatic no but you should think long and hard. Swiss schools are tough enough for children without issues.

5.       Are you prepared to learn German: If the answer is no, don’t even bother.

6.    Age of child:  I moved to the States from Italy when I was ten, my sister 14 (first year of high school). I was fine after a little while --  a year or so though it took a couple to really catch up-- my sister, not so fine. While she ended up going to University and did very well, I'm sure she would not recommend switching at that age to anyone. Social nightmare. Add to the mix the fact that Swiss schools start to stream at about age 12. The moral of the story is that anything is possible with enough dedication, but switching language and culture after about the age of 11 is really difficult. This goes double for families who plan on using English as their home language.  

These are the four basic questions you have to ask yourself. The rest is a little less clear.

Pros of going local:

1.       You will integrate with Swiss society and culture – sending your kids to the neighbourhood school is the great equalizer. While there is little possibility of actually meeting any parents on site as there are no school gates and children go to classes on their own starting at age 4, you will meet them at some point. And you therefore will have something to talk about. I know all my neighbours with children and we all bitch and moan about the same things. I know none of my neighbours without.

2.       You will receive a first class education at no cost. Our school (average class size 20 students) has amazing resources, beautiful buildings, motivated, thoughtful teachers who actually get paid good money. And it shows. Children receive extra language help quickly.

3.       Children are much freer to play without hysterical safety regulations now omnipresent in UK/Canada/US (btw, this can also be a huge “con”). It’s a lot more like the environment we grew up in: long afternoons chasing each other and investigating spiders. For older kids – week long ski trips! The freedom is heavenly.

4.       Your kids will feel part of the community. They will learn Swiss German, German, French, Italian etc… They will have local friends. This will eventually be a huge plus in life. It will set them apart from the rest of the pack, wherever they are.

5.       You – by force – will learn another language.

Cons of going local:

1.       It will be incredibly hard academically for a good long time because of the language. Anyone who says their kids were fluent in 6 months has a very different definition of fluent from me. A year minimum. Kids who struggle with language will have an even harder time, as German is a particularly difficult language. And if neither parent speaks German to a reasonable standard, homework will be difficult.

2.       It will be incredibly difficult socially. Swiss adults (and this includes teachers) expect children to sort themselves out and this often turns into “might is right” in the school yard. Self-reliance is a big theme is Swiss society in general. The whole concept of inclusiveness is not really stressed and pastoral care at school is limited. If your child is having issues, don’t be surprised if he/she is blamed. It takes a long time for foreign children and adults to break through the acquaintance barrier and into real friendship. Expect tears. Lots of them. And periods of low self-esteem for even the sturdiest child. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say most expats have a really hard time trying to figure out Swiss society and how it functions.

3.       Children are not at school for the whole day: You can count on Wednesday afternoon to be free. At least in our town, kindergarten is only two and a half hours long. Not until the child is in the third grade will he/she do a full day at school. School breaks up for at least 2 hours for lunch. While some communities have a supervised lunch FOR PRIMARY SCHOOL near the school – it is not in school so may not be very appropriate for younger kids. What would be deemed unusual requests in the UK (starting school at 5 am to look at night creatures only to return at 10 am) are not so uncommon here. Extremely charming and well worthwhile but… This all adds up to a serious headache for any working mother

4.       The Swiss educational system is very different from the Anglo Saxon (UK, Canada, US) in fundamental ways. Parental involvement, and therefore say, is non-existent. Positive reinforcement is not the automatic default – forget stickers and smiley faces. Creativity and exploration are not hugely encouraged, at least not in the younger years

a.       Kindergarten is a time for young children to be socialized and perform in a group setting. Don’t’ expect a lot of cuddles. Learning how to be independent is a core subject. Creativity yes, but as part of a system, like copying exactly what the teacher draws.    

b.      Much of the first few years is rote learning and there are no varying levels in maths and German. Every kid has to be pretty much on the same page. Expect the teacher to be critical.

c.       Pressure piles on in the fifth class because soon the child will be streamed – something that will pretty much affect the course of his or her academic career. In our town, math grades account for half of the point system to get into the highest level of education.

d.      A University degree is not the goal of most Swiss kids – only 20% make it. Of that 20% I imagine there are few students from families where neither parent is a native speaker

Pros of Private School/International School

1.       Transition is easy: lots of other kids in the same boat. The schools I visited seem to be very inclusive and make a big effort to integrate the kids. I can honestly say I don’t know any expat in one of the schools who is miserable. I can’t really say the same for the Swiss school.

2.       Continuation of schooling: Our clever plan of sending our children to local schools for primary and then to the international school for secondary have been dashed by the realization that the school is unlikely to have room for them. We are now very much in the what-the-$%^k-do-we-do-now planning mode.

3.       You, as a parent, will make friends fast. You will be a lot less lonely than your above mentioned counter-part. You may even be able to hold down a job.

Cons of Private School/International School

1.       It’s highly unlikely that you or your child will become part of Swiss society. You will forever be a foreigner in a foreign land and you are unlikely to make this your home. And you will probably be a lot more negative towards Swiss people in general than if you actually shared something with them. There are families who make it work, learn Swiss German, take part in the town’s activities, the whole enchilada. But odds are not. But I also know lots of people for whom this is not a problem.

2.       It will be very difficult for your child to do non-school local activities like football because a) they won’t be able to speak Swiss German and b) they will be shunned if not teased by the local kids. Again, this may not be a huge problem.

3.       You and your children will forever be making and losing friends. The average stay is two-three years. Teachers also come and go.

4.       Money: If you’re paying out of pocket, imagine what you can do with the money you save…