Swiss Parenting is Clearly Superior

Even after nearly four years of living in Switzerland, it still amazes me how Swiss parents manage to bring their offspring to restaurants without a stash of electronic equipment to keep them under control. Just a crayon, thanks. With my family, a civilized meal cannot occur without the warm glow of a screen on my children’s faces while the food is prepared, and immediately after. Crayons are useful only as projectiles.

In fact, Swiss children under 10 probably watch very little TV, play on the computer or interface with any plugged in device. (NB: I have absolutely no evidence of this, other than their behaviour when children come to my house. Total amazement at what my kids get away with.) You will not find many  IPad savvy three year-olds. Swiss parents simply don’t allow it, and we’re not talking about the pretentious families who force their kids to be culture vultures – or the ones who lie about how much screen time they actually allow. On the whole, bribery doesn’t seem part of the Swiss parental arsenal of behaviour modification.  

And Swiss kids have loads of free time. Until age 9, children often only go to school in the mornings and a couple of afternoons a week. There isn’t the all-consuming hysteria about getting kids involved in as many afterschool activities as possible (I still do this, by the way.) Kids here are expected to play. Outside on their bikes, inside with Lego, Barbies etc. And unless people suddenly clear everything before I arrive, I’ve noticed Swiss houses are not overburdened with lots of toys. Not for them a plethora of plastic, a mountain of Mighty Machines – a cornucopia of crap that I usually see in a household of three children.

My neighbourhood is infested with little boys and girls, scooting and skating around, running to the various playgrounds, mostly unaccompanied by adults, who obviously have better things to do than hover.

But before anyone gets too nostalgic about our good old days and how children in North America and England are mollycoddled and incapable of playing on their own, there is a downside to this Alpine yesteryear. Without supervision, things sometimes get pretty vicious during play time and “might means right,” be imaginative play or football. As I mentioned in earlier posts, kids here are encouraged to work things out for themselves – to be independent and self-sufficient -- and adults generally avoid getting involved in small people disputes. This can often tip over into what Anglos would refer to as bullying, particularly as our foreign status makes the children easy prey for some of the more spirited locals.

But don’t freak out over this. For one thing, take a bunch of 9 year-olds from any country, any culture and they will probably act exactly the same without their parents watching. The same rules apply here because children are encouraged to problem solve. Wretchedness – when it happens, which doesn’t mean always -- is on the whole equally doled out and “foreigners” of all stripes do their fair share. Parents of children in international schools who do not speak Swiss German should not always expect a warm, inclusive welcome. This is part of the problem of sending kids to these institutions, however wonderful and easy the English speaking schools may seem.  

Non-Swiss parents may also find the playground and sport infrastructure quite surprising (as in, “oh my gosh.. is that thing safe?” When I ask Swiss parents how they feel about the incredibly high climbing frame, slides that end at cement staircases and the boulders artfully placed for maximum slippage, they always refer to fact that in nature, things aren’t safe and that children need to learn to cope. Sage words indeed. Do I let my under 10s go to the park alone for very long? Not a chance.

A word of caution on swimming pools: keep an eye on your kids. The lifeguard, as well as keeping a general eye on things, may also be cooking a hot dog, talking on the phone and selling tickets. You will not hear the constant tweeting –so present in North American/UK – despite the sometime exuberant behaviour of young bathers.   

And boy, are kids here tough. While coaching Little League, my husband accidently hit a boy with a baseball bat in the face – imagine a sickening thud. The child whimpered a little while being frantically checked for missing teeth and concussion, but no tears, despite a sizeable lump. After hearing profuse apologies, the mother’s reaction? “Next time maybe he won’t stand so close.”

And finally, do Swiss children throw food? I doubt very much that your average mother here goes out of her way to prepare kiddie-friendly meals and I’m guessing Swiss offspring eat fewer treats and much more fruit and veg than colleagues across the Channel and across the pond. But Swiss cuisine isn’t exactly challenging, palate wise. Sausage, melted cheese and macaroni are common fare.  And if you keep in mind that the average Swiss person consumes more than 12 kilos of chocolate per year – about the size of a two year-old – that’s a lot of Lindt bunnies!